This was a pretty tough week at work for me, mostly caused by high levels of exhaustion, not recovering from that exhaustion once home like I usually could, and frustrations with my Manager and myself over memory related issues.
I made this 6 minute video blog post about it as I’m finding it easier and easier to talk to the camera now I’m used to it. My normal character is to keep intensely private about shit like this but this is changing significantly with my blogging and YouTube channel so I’d have to recommend it to anyone suffering chronic pain like myself.
Now that our family has expanded with the birth of our first child Olly in November, I’ve had to confront some aspect of living with chronic pain and disability that I was pretty successful at putting to the back of mind or shoveling under the carpet.
What was causing my frustration at work lately was some observations I had made of my boss and colleague not understanding that my brain and memory simply doesn’t function like theirs. I was asked about some task I had recently done but had no recollection of. Their reaction to me matter of fact-ly stating ‘Sorry I just don’t know’ was clear surpise and a little shock. I suddenly felt ashamed and defensive but I had nothing else to say so I just left it.
It is still unresolved, so today I wrote a post on Reddit about my frustrations and it was good to know I am not alone in this experience as well as give me the confidence to approach the issue from a simple matter of fact perspective.
Given that I have not been using my latest medication (Targin) that long I am hopeful my brain learns some ways to adapt to the foggy brain/memory issues of late but I will still be trying to think of other ways to overcome them.