Disabled parenting – problems I experienced as an arm amputee Dad
This video talks about some of my problems I faced as a disabled new Dad.
That time in life coincided with a large increase in my chronic pain and exhaustion, and a new role at work in a new team.
Obviously everyone’s experience will be different and these are issues very personal to me, but I feel I can potentially help someone else going through similar problems and that’s a good enough reason to share with you.
Please consider sharing to someone who you feel may benefit. I have had feedback from other disabled people that these were some great points.
One of my Internet buddies who also has one arm (same reason as me = motorbike whoopsie) made this remark in an email to me:
I’m that type of guy who doesn’t really talk about life obstacles. But, you hit pretty much all of them right on the head – the one armed ones, and the ones that ripple outward from there.
Pretty sure I have the hang of it now. Counseling was the key. To get passed the denial. Previous to counseling I would have random, mini, panic attacks when I would suddenly realize I only had one arm.”
Being disabled, or suffering chronic pain (which I believe is a disability), carries a much greater chance for the individual to experience more issues with mental illness. Depression and anxiety can be common.
My accident was now 26 years ago and I am generally healthy with regards to my mental health. I was only 17, 3 months away from my 18th birthday.
I credit that to the fact I attended an excellent Outpatient Pain clinic, with a positive mindset. I didn’t initially experience the usual stages of loss/grief/depression when I paralysed my dominant arm, and the Hospital team even had me see a Shrink to check me off as ok.
The Pain clinic mainly taught me Cognitive Behaviour techniques. These worked really well, until the events I described at the start of my post happened.
A shit-storm of being a new Dad, exhausted and in Pain, having very high stress at Work, resulted in very very dark times.
I describe things in detail in the video attached so won’t repeat myself here.
Thanks for your time. Please do get in touch with me with any questions you may have, please seek the help of a Doctor and/or counsellor in you are feeling unwell. (I discuss further strategies in the video)
I wish you well.
I’m Robbie from OneArmedGraphics, a 40-something arm amputee living in Brisbane Australia with my lovely Wife and Baby.